Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A few thoughts on Republic Day….

Its strange how we take Republic Day and Independence Day so for granted…..like just another date in a calendar. We go about our ways… mechanically, with a clinical coldness and indifference that would put even a robot to shame. Or maybe some of us actually look forward to it; but just as another holiday…. like it was this time… an extended weekend. To tell you the truth I am just one of those people.

I am not saying it is the same for everyone… (and thank God for that) … but for most of us ordinary citizens who belong to the middle class we have far more important things to think about then to remember some date in history some 60 years ago. Umpteen questions about our daily life cloud our minds- like what the recession will bring for us… … is my job safe or will I be handed out the pink slip… am I going to get my salary by the end of this month… where am I going to get the money for the next EMI. .. can I even afford to have a small 2 bedroom house in this sky rocketing real estate prices?

I am no different. With every passing year I used to look forward to these two “National Holidays” as just that-holidays. I had studied in missionary convents all my life where not much was done about Republic Day or Independence Day. All that I had learnt about my country, its Independence and the fact that it became a “Sovereign Socialist Secular Democratic Republic in 1950” was from the Social Studies books that some highly unimaginative fellow from NCERT had written. And they were just that….heavy sounding words that were just meant to be roted, crammed into your memory and reproduced in exams at the end of the year. College was the same. Only the intensity of these heavy sounding words increased coupled with some more names that were alien to my mother tongue, and whose names sounded like Greek to me (literally!!) and I could barely spell or pronounce-Socrates, Aristotle, Herodotus, Rousseau (the last one was French I know!)

And so the years passed. When I started working a couple of years back I was expected to be present at office celebrations and since it is a PSU it was mandatory. I started to loathe these official functions; trying to avoid going there by finishing off the requisite arrangements for the functions beforehand and thus managing to enjoy the “holiday”.

I don’t know what changed this year. Maybe a sense of despair or was it hope…? The last one year hadn’t exactly been great for the country. With bomb blasts in every major city of India; the memories of 26/11 still fresh in the minds and the New Year literally beginning with a bang in my own home town Guwahati (there were bomb blasts on the 1st of January, 2009) there was not much really to celebrate Republic Day.

But like the old saying goes…..When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I guess it is the undying spirit of the common man in the face of these adversities that have kept all of us going. And yes all hope is not lost, after all hadn’t it been for those brave men in uniforms who laid down their lives….. the nation would have been held ransom by some of these monsters!!! So just this one time I went to see the Republic Day parade today to see the kin of these slain heroes receive a posthumous Ashok Chakra.

I must admit that I feel so ashamed. Inspite of being in the capital for 5 years I had never made an attempt to either attend the Republic Day or the Independence Day functions. And this inspite of the fact that I have close friends in the “defence” who could easily have arranged VIP passes for me if only I had wanted. It was also such an eye –opener -to see that those multitude of people who walked such long distances from Maulana Azad Road to Rajpath were not the young and healthy but the very old and the very young. Most of the people were also not the upper middle class or the elite of the society but the common man. Their enthusiasm was remarkable.


It’s a weirdly humbling feeling- to witness the R - Day parade, and at the same time it makes your heart swell with pride. To witness the platoons of soldiers from the different contingents march in rhythmic progression, to gape with wonder and awe at those indigenously designed yet highly powerful and technologically advanced missiles, to admire those taut and brave men who guard our frontiers, to cheer the tableau representing the unique culture of your state, and to laud those children whose bravery and heroism are far beyond their years….. its a kind of pride I had never felt before and I have no words to express.

I don’t know if this enthusiasm will last until next year ....or I will be caught up in the multitude of problems regarding roti , kapda or makaan… but until then…..

Maa Tujhe Salaam…

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Sorry…..

I
Why is sorry the hardest thing to say?
Don’t know why it is so?
I am trying to say sorry here…
Don’t judge me before I even begin to say….
Hear me out just this once…
I know you are angry.... and justly so….
I have made mistakes … I know….

II
You have been my wings when I needed to fly,
And yet I left you behind when I wanted to soar
I am sorry for that….
You were the wind in my sail,
And yet I left you in the stormy sea
I am sorry for that….
You have been my strength when I was weak,
And yet I looked the other way when you needed me
I am sorry for that…
You have been my solace when I was down,
And yet I left you alone when it was my turn
I am sorry for that…
For thoughts that have hurt you inside
For words that have cut you deep
For actions that have made you bleed
I am sorry for all of that…

But most of all
I am sorry
For having to let you go….
Waiting….

It’s been a long time….
Since you went away…..
Aeons it seems…
Since I saw your face
Kissed your lips…

Was in your city the other day,
And the memories came flooding back…
You and me coccooned from the world
Me a girl of eighteen and you a boy of twenty…
Life seemed a breeze…
Dreams in our eyes and love in our hearts…
We made promises…
And took vows
Of being together forever and a day
Of love eternal
You and me hand in hand
The love we shared and the dreams we dreamt….
And then you left…

You are gone now
And I wonder if its still me…
Dreaming the same dreams..
Renewing the same vows…
Wonder if I will see you again
In this life ….. or another …..?