I happened to see “Revolutionary Road” the other day. A film by Sam Mendes ( of American Beauty fame) always raises your expectations. His films have always been known to be out of the ordinary and touch that human chord. It’s a rich cinematic experience, watching his movies. Revolutionary Road is a worthy successor to American Beauty, not at one moment failing to disappoint his fans cinematically or otherwise. It was a pretty intense movie I must admit ( as was American Beauty)- so serious that there was a time; pre - interval that I almost felt like getting up and walking out halfway. Its not that I don’t like intense drama; infact I look out for movies that are thought provoking and move you inside in some way but I guess the recent slew of intense movies (by the average cine-goer’s standards) that I had watched got a little into me. But nevertheless I’m glad I sat through it.. the story telling grew better… and the pace picked up after a few dramatic and unexpected turns. However it not the merits of the film that I want to discuss here… it’s the subject of the film… a take on the post marriage life of a suburban American couple in the 50’s.The setting may have been in the 50’s of a suburban Connecticut but there is a certain timeless appeal about the theme, in the sense that we are still trying to find that magic element in our lives… trying to find that perfect balance between our professional and personal lives, the balance between our needs and our ambitions, between who we aspire to be and who we are… existential angst …is that what it is called in the more refined and erudite circles?
I’m pretty vocal and unabashed about my feminist leanings ( my guy friends would vouch for that) sometimes even to the point of coming across as too strong and offensive to most people. And that is why I am surprised at the reactions that this film evoked in me. Cause in some unexplainable way my sympathies lay not with the female protagonist who seemed to suffer and have a poetically tragic end but with the male who survives to live a painfully miserable life of grief, anguish, loneliness and even regret to a certain extent. I know most feminists who have seen the film will probably say I am not a true bred here…cause it was April Wheeler ( the character played by Kate Winslet) who leading the drab life of a homemaker trapped in a stifling marriage to Frank and having to seek passion outside the confines of her marriage eventually aborts her child towards the climax of the film that deserves the viewer’s compassion. I am not being judgemental here saying April Wheeler didn’t suffer or didn’t do enough to save her marriage or bring about a change in the quality of her life. That was far too obvious .But somewhere I did feel her part of the play in making that marriage work was somehow not enough compared to Frank..
But like I said I don’t want to come across as judgemental… I not married as yet and I have no experience to make comments on something I don’t have the remotest clue about. But some wise people who are married …. some for a short while… others longer than that, say- marriage essentially means COMPROMISE. That’s sad…. Or is it really the truth? Does the secret to making a marriage work really means sacrificing, making compromises or like one of my wise friends said….. sometimes you just have to take a backseat.. after all marriage means coming together of two people.. so both the people really can’t have their way all the time. But what if that taking a backseat means compromising with who you are…letting go of what your dreams are. Don’t we live for our dreams? I mean if we let go of our dreams … then what is the purpose of this life? Somewhere along the film I knew April was right in pursuing her dreams and wanting to start life anew even though it was a highly risky proposition. Yet my heart also went out to Frank Wheeler, he was a practical man who chose a stable though unsatisfactory job to support his family, an honest man too, who inspire of his momentary affair with his secretary came back to his home and confessed that to his wife coz he loved her. In another time and place a man doing the same would be completely inexcusable for me and in the film I felt no grudge against April Wheeler for not reacting to it cause she had ceased to love Frank. But in the very context of the film and the circumstances I felt April was too idealistic and selfish a woman… As an individual I can empathise with her sense of frustration, despair, loss, helplessness, but as a woman….. I surely feel she was selfish … she was a mother of two….. pregnant with the third. She had a loving supportive and caring husband who was wiling to make sacrifices (or as some might even say he didn’t have the b@*^s to be man enough and make the right choices). Yet April couldn’t come to terms with her mundane life.
I feel a sense of disbelief at my own reactions at this movie. Faced with a strange dichotomy at the possibility of having to face something similar in my life, would I let go of my career or hobbies for the sake of a successful marriage or kids. What if the passion in my marriage died down and both me and partner turned out of the confines of marriage to seek love and fulfilment elsewhere. Would I continue to be in that marriage? I know most women make these choices everyday of their lives….. I admire them for the strength and ability to make these choices… and I hope and pray that I find the strength to make the right decisions at the right time without ever feeling I compromised … especially when it comes to LOVE and MARRIAGE.
